Wow Hollywood, a post about Santa in January. Way to be a month behind schedule. No, Cheech, I'm bringing you crap tons of ho ho holiday cheer 334 days early.
I was enjoying my french vanilla coffee out of my favorite mug and reading up on my dyslexia diagnosis when I discovered Satan was more evil than Santa and the devil combined.
He lured me in with his innocent looking smile that almost says, hey bud...you know you want to drink out of my head. I'm like, yeah...you know I do. I love you Mug Santa.
But behind Mug Santa's playful veneer lies a sinister dark side. Dark like the absence of all light dark.
I know this is hard to read. It was hard for me to read too, but I need to share this with the world. For the visually impaired:
WARNING:
The materials used as colored decorations on the exterior of (this product) contains lead, a chemical known to the State of California to cause birth defects or other reproductive harm.
It is now clear that Santa hates California, but living in another state protects you from aforementioned perils of lead consumption. Pennsylvania FTW!
--Hollywood
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