Disney World

Since I have returned from Disney World everyone has been kind enough to ask me how my trip was.  To answer, the trip was awesome.  

The Coronado Springs hotel that we reserved ended up being over-booked and we got moved to the Boardwalk hotel, which despite it's name being associated with New Jersey, is for some reason a "deluxe" hotel.  It sat on a half mile long re-created boardwalk that sat on part of the Disney river system, and was a 10 minute walk to both Hollywood (formerly MGM) Studios and Epcot center.  It also had a bakery that made some of the best breakfast sandwiches I've ever had, complete with mickey shaped rice-crispy treats.

Since it was Maria's first visit (which a giant pin indicated throughout our stay), we visited the 4 main parks: Hollywood Studios, Magic Kingdom, Epcot Center, and Animal Kingdom.  We did one park each day.  After a full day of walking around, watching parades, seeing fireworks, and listening to crying children, we were pretty spent.  We never did get a chance to visit all the "alt" part of Disney like Pleasure Island, Downtown Disney, Universal, Sea World, etc., but we still felt like we got a lot of Disney for our dollar.

Here's some pictures (snapfish login required):

http://www2.snapfish.com/share/p=730111229043838313/l=450631066/g=90522116/otsc=SYE/otsi=SALB

Yes.  I wear many funny hats.  Enjoy.

I am currently away from this blog and can be found Twittering.

I will return with wonderful stories about the joys of the tweets.

Texas Dog Party is the World F'ing Champs of Blogs says Chase Utley

Chase Utley is a darn good second baseman, and an even better cunning linguist, as evidenced by his recent discourse on the Philadelphia Phillies World Series victory over the Tampa "don't call us devil" Rays. If you missed it or were black out drunk after too many PBRs, plenty of footage exists on teh interwebs by clicking on this word. Here.

If you were like me, you were one of several hundred thousand fans left stranded by your good buddy SEPTA. After getting a quick 9 holes in (+5 for the afternoon, watch out Tiger) Hollywood kicked back to watch the speeches on one of Philadelphia's many fine media outlets. For the record, I picked Comcast SportsNet since I think Michael Barkann is da bomb. Plus Tim Lake just looked like a douche with his red sweater trying to represent Phillies pride. Dude we all know you had some intern pick that sweater up that morning at Marshalls. Doesn't even have a Phillies logo on it. Hollywood ftw.

So Chase Utley says his phamous words, the crowd cheers, and he's a now the man. He's single handedly spawned a cottage industry of teddy bears, bumper stickers, and dog t-shirts?

All well and good, but what about the fact that he dropped a steaming bowl of stfu all over live TV and radio? Shouldn't there have been some kind of delay?

According to news reports, the parade and speeches were aired with a five second delay. Some of the radio stations caught it before it went out, but none of the TV stations did. Which begs the question, who the f listens to a parade on the radio?

All the stations issued quick, half-hearted apologies which were difficult to type since they were ROTF LTAO. They then had their moms look under their bed, in their closet, and leave their night lights plugged in just in case the FCC boogey man showed up.

Will the stations be fined for Mr. Utley's adjective? Well the Supreme Court is discussing this very issue as we speak. It stems from a 2002 incident in which Bono uttered the phrase, "really really f'ing brilliant." while accepting a Golden Globe. To that point the FCC declined to punish stations for "fleeting expletives".

Then the FCC decided that yes, actually we will.

Then they asked if these jeans make them look fat, ate a tub of Ben and Jerry's, drunk texted all their ex-boyfriends and passed out face down on their futon.

The issue is complex and both sides make valid arguments, but the only thing that really matters is the Philadelphia Phillies are World F'ing Champs!

Hollywood out.

3rd Party Politics

In a recent victory for democracy everywhere, MTV Europe has announced that one Rick Astley was awarded the final slot on the ballot after a fierce write in campaign for its upcoming award show's newest and most humbly titled award Best Act Ever!!! Please do what ever you can (vote, many, many times - that is pretty much it) to help us get past this final hurtle and into that winners circle. Up against the staunch competition of Britney & Christina, U2, Green Day and some tutonic teenage emoster named Tokio Hotel, Rick needs your support in 2008.

Remember:

Vote Rick 08 - The Only Time You’ll Vote This Year That Actually Matters!(Click to vote)

Google: About to enter that awkward phase between being a cute kid and an angry teenager.

Yeah I know this isn't exactly news, but you're good friend Hollywood here had a little problem getting the ol' porn box working at 100% capacity. Props to Jester for being a good wing man and teaching Hollywood where his missing and hilarious posts disappeared to. 10-4 good buddy. Any way...

Google is celebrating its 10th birthday with a feature that's only amusing until you run out of ideas for websites you were interested in in 2001. By checking out the Google homepage you have the option to search the index based on what was available as of January of that year. I'll save you from having to click Start-->All Programs--->Accessories--->Calculator. 2001 was only seven years ago. I don't get it either.

Back in 2001 you'd find a search for Texas Dog Party to be 94% less disappointing when the second search result provides a detailed description of Texas House of Representatives Bill No. 1389, which as we all know amended Chapter 42 of the Penal Code (note to self, grammar check penal before posting) by adding section 42.101 which relates to creating the offense of fighting between a dog and a hog.

The bill specifically specifies the situations in which it would be considered a hog and dog are fighting. It could mean a dog attacks or fights with a hog. Or it could mean a hog attacks or fights with a dog. Or it could mean the hog doesn't appreciate the dog any more and went out for a long night of drinking with his buddies and then came home and bitch slapped the dog. Yeah, took the lay up on that one.

The ninth search result brings you to Texas Dog Party's first attempt at a website, Texas Dogs Online. Now remember this was back in 2001 when everything that was online needed to have online in the title or we wouldn't know where to find it. Is it out in the garage? Did I leave it in the car? Oh sh!t that's right, the Texas Dogs are Online. Oh man I can't believe I forgot that! Insert smiley emoticon.......here.

A few pages later and you get to The Party Dog DJ Show List. Nothing funny there. Those are just damn good songs.

Hollywood out.

The Story So Far

Well done all - the first month and that awkward getting to know you phase of TDP is behind us.

::Press Play::


Remember that silly attempt at a mission statement, Hollywood's devastating confession, Adrian's awesome comment, all the other awesomeness and the things that tried way to hard to be, all the triumphs and the failures (and the epic fails), the laughter and the tears. Remember running through that field of grain taller than our heads, without a care in the world. Remember that unfortunate time I couldn't get to toilette in time and all the kids started laughing - no? Well I certainly do and I didn't appreciate it.

Some awesome made up stats:

• Awesome Hollywood moments: 4
• Epic Cougar fails: 7
• Moments we tried to include Alan: 2
• "Mailman" euphemisms: 3
• References - Jester - made that went over at least 1/2 yr heads: 6
• Really, really gay pictures of dogs in costume: 1
• Non joke posts: 4?
• Non joke posts that worked: 1 (TBD)
• Fame: priceless

::end highlight reel::

Yeah...

What's another $700 Billion?

I have yet to contributed anything of any value to this blog, and probably not doing so now, but I feel the need to vent some frustration somewhere. The current bill in congress to bailout (or invest in) our economy is staggering. I understand that there seems to be a fairly large consensus that something needs to be done. However, if this "investment" fails and the taxpayers of this country are left to pay for the mistakes of financial institutions. This bill adds a lot of money to the national debt.

So what is the national debt at right now you might ask. I investigated...

http://www.brillig.com/debt_clock/

http://zfacts.com/p/318.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_public_debt

The interesting thing here is that while from 1950 to 1980 the national debt went down regardless of political affiliation Truman (D), Ike (R), Kennedy/LBJ (D), Nixon (R), Carter (D). From 1980 the debt seems to be broken out politically. However, Clinton(D) gets some credit for the brief decrease because he was president at the time. But, George H.W. Bush(R) also gets some of the credit for his large tax increase in his term a the helm. So what has happened in the last 28 years that we are having this issue?

At this point for every man, woman, and child that is a citizen of the US has a government debt of about $32,500 and this additional legislation will add about $2350-3000. So what's another $700 billion?

Seems to me that this national debt needs to be the bigger debate than what is currently being talked about in this presidental campaign.

Blog Review: Texas Dog Party Fell Out of the Ugly Tree and Hit Every Branch Then Got Beat By the Ugly Stick Ironically Made From One of the Branches

I believe it was the great C&C Music Factory that once said, "Things that make you go Hmm...". Well Texas Dog Party made me go "Ah what the fark is this crap on my computer screen ew get it off get it off get it off it's not shutting down fast enough hold down the power button for 5 seconds ok there it goes thank god."

I discovered the blog Texas Dog Party via a hyperlink from the well-unknown Jim in PA, written by Jim in PA. I was enjoying his posts about F1 racing and shows about F1 racing when I decided to take a break from the excitement and see what else was on the interwebs. I figured if it was good enough to be a link on Jim in PA, well hell, it was probably not good enough for me, but I was going to click it any way.

To say Texas Dog Party is well-written, whimsical, and witty would be a poor way of describing it using only adjectives that started with W.

The authors of Texas Dog Party, 4/7s of whom post under aliases from the Val Kilmer movie Top Gun, too often miss easy comedic opportunities. For example, one recent post was titled "It's true. We are in da house" and featured a poorly taken cell phone picture of the text "texasdogparty in da house". The author of this post, the chronically unfunny Hollywood, failed to post any potentially hilarious tags, such as House Party, House Party 2, 27 Dresses, or House Party 4. Inexcusable.

As everyone knows, there are some basics when it comes to blogging. The first is to prof read every post before you post it. The second is to avoid redundancy. You don't want to repeat yourself. And c), you should include a few links to random things sprinkled throughout your post.

The bottom line is when you get the evite to Texas Dog Party you should reply "maybe" and post something like, we'll totally be there if my grandmom doesn't die! Miss you guys! (Me, +1 guest). Then send a last minute text message saying sry, <3 trnsplnt didnt wrk. Cant make ur prty. cell battery dying lke my gmom :(

Through this blog I have reviewed many things.

It's true. We are in da house.

Goooooooo Cancer!

The Annual Coaches Vs. Cancer Classic is coming up at MSG - there is no way group of no talent ass-clowns wins. You know gotta bet on cancer.

What happened to MTV?

So during poker this week, Jester asked if anyone saw the MTV VMAs Sunday. I then asked has anyone seen any music videos on MTV. I was flicking channels this week and I saw music videos on BET and VH1. MTV is still playing crap. MTV stands for music television. But, they don’t play music anymore. I actually went to MTV.com and checked out their schedule. I did not see music videos anywhere on the schedule. So it’s an oxy moron to have a video music awards show if you don’t play music videos anymore. I forgot it was on. I only watched the movie awards this year to see Mike Myers host and do comedy, and to see Coldplay perform before their world tour. MTV has lost its roots.

Things Remembered

1) The widget/gadget company my boy works for is Gigya

2) Pandora is indeed awesome though I'm not a fan of Aaron's genre cross blending. That said I got this today:

Join me for a Pandora Get-together in Philadelphia!

Hey, Tim here -

Thanks a ton to all of you who wrote in with suggestions of where to
host the upcoming Pandora meet-up in in Philadelphia . Your thoughts were
extremely helpful and I already feel warmly welcomed.

Having the event at the Painted Bride Art Center was a popular suggestion, so we went with that. Full details below.

Where: Painted Bride Art Center

230 Vine Street, Philadelphia, PA(map)
When: Tuesday, September 23rd at 7 PM
RSVP: Reply to this email

This get-together is a free event, open to everyone. It's a chance for me to share the Pandora story and hopefully have a lively discussion with local Pandora listeners (and we'll have some free Pandora swag too!).

Please RSVP by replying to this email.

You're welcome to bring guests, the more the merrier... just let us know.
Angie, who is helping plan this, will make sure we know you're coming.Hope to
see you soon.

-Tim

Might be cool, lemme know if anyone wants to head down. What are your stations btw?

Me:
"I Want to Be a Dentist" (Indie Rock - if you can guess the reference jim will get your by-in next week)
"It's a British Thing" (Self-Ex)
"Pop Tart" (What I consider to be good pop - like cherry and cinnamon flavors)
"Santa Baby Radio" (Holiday)
"Kool Keith Radio" (Underground hip-hop/turntablism/beathead stuff)
"Wubba Wubba Wubba" (Like Down Town Julie Brown & Club MTV - but with less ab shots)
"Ye-ah Boi!" (Kitchen Sink)

3) In their quest to steal from satisfy everyone, part of the new iTunes update was to add "Genious Playlists." (Like I said with all the awesomness of the LHC I didn't have time to digest Jobs' latest nuggets of awesomeness). This I guess works like Pandora on iTunes 8.x - you start with a song and it populates the playlist with similar songs. Must download soon.

4) The email chain: (Listen)

On Wed, Sep 10, 2008 at 4:13 PM, Aaron Zod wrote:

I questioned the validity of the question. Does that get me
anything?

I'm in for cards.

Jim:
Nope 45 minutes left to guess for the free poker buy in. The blog has been posted over 24 hours ago and everyone has had a chance. I'm just really wondering
who reads the blog.

Alan:
Don't have access to the blog. Can you give the trivia question again? ...and if I had access to your amazing blog I know I would read it.

Jim:
Texas Dog Party is all "OUR" amazing blog. We should all have access to contribute to the new blog. Here is what I posted yesterday afternoon. So far I have stumped everyone.

Let's play guess the call sign...

No it's not Howie Mandel and some suitcases. It's Cougar bringing you the first Texas Dog Party contest. I was job hunting today at home. I usually play DVDs while working at home for some background noise. I was playing some DVDs today and came across a call sign.

If you are the first to leave the correct answer in the comments below, then you will win a free by in at tomorrow's Texas Dog Party. You have until 5 PM tomorrow to get the answer right. What movie used the call sign "Mailman"? Deal or no deal bitches.

Comments left in blog: Wrong Zod! You crashed and burned on the first one. Movies don't have call signs. A call sign "Mailman" was used in dialogue and/or a character
name in a movie. Name that movie. Does Texas Dog Party show up if "You're Feeling Lucky"?

Wrong answer. I don't own Sidekicks or any other Chuck Norris DVDs. Buy in I meant as the poker by in tonight. http://texasdogparty.blogspot.com/2008/09/lets-play-guess-call-sign.html

Keith: (editor's note: This is where Jim was excluded from the conversation and it started to become funny)
Jim on his period?

Aaron:
I get it, so Mailman is the code word for when Jim is having his period.

Keith:
"Jim is getting a visit from the mailman this week"

"Has the mailman arrived for Jim yet - its about that time"

"Jim woke up and realized the mailman had come during the night again and he was out of bleach"

What is Large and Collides Hadrons?

Its online - nice knowing y'all.

Let’s play guess the call sign…

No it’s not Howie Mandel and some suitcases. It’s Cougar bringing you the first Texas Dog Party contest. I was job hunting today at home. I usually play DVDs while working at home for some background noise. I was playing some DVDs today and came across a call sign.

If you are the first to leave the correct answer in the comments below, then you will win a free by in at tomorrow’s Texas Dog Party. You have until 5 PM tomorrow to get the answer right. What movie used the call sign “Mailman”? Deal or no deal bitches.

I never saw Terminator 2

I am the one American male who has never seen Terminator 2.

It all started when the movie first came out and for whatever reason I didn't see it initially. One by one all my friends saw it and were like, hey, did you see Terminator 2? And I was like...yeah! It was great! I'll be back!

And then they'd remind me that was in the first Terminator. And I was like, duh, I was just testing you because there's a lot of kids out here on the playground that are pretending they saw it but totally didn't. I meant pasta la vista baby! Let's play seesaw!

I managed to live the lie through my teen years and through early adulthood by faking my way through most conversations related to Terminator 2. When someone at a dinner party would broach the subject of Terminator 2 I would politely nod, agree that it was indeed a kick ass film, but state quite clearly that I feel Arnold's work in this film was shallow and pedantic. Shallow and pedantic.

I feel at this point I've masted the basic plot points of Terminator 2. Basically Arnold Schwarzenegger is some kind of future robot from the future named Terminator 2. It's his job to terminate everyone. Later he decides to not terminate Guns and Roses, which was somewhat of a predictable plot twist.

In 2003 there was a third Terminator movie called Terminator 3 and I totally saw that one. I am back!

The Lure of the Soft Drink

Hi. My name is Aaron (hi Aaron!), and I'm addicted to Soda.

It sounds silly, but soft drinks have proven time and time again that they will not be ignored by me. I've gone for weeks, perhaps months without having one, but I always come back. Always.

Pshhht...You know the sound

I've tried everything to quit. Water, ice tea, lemonade, coffee, but nothing seems quite as satisfying as the sugary bubbles that can be found in a soda. I'm even particular about the mix. I buy from the bottle or can because the fountain stuff is too watery. and I always get little or no ice, as the reduced concentration of syrup seems less satisfying.

The effect seems cumulative as well. After a proud week or two of not having a soft drink, sometimes I'll wander back into it's carbonated clutches and have just one can, but I find myself sad when it's finished, which thanks to "wide-mouth" cans doesn't take too long, and then just a few minutes later I want another. And once you're thirsty for Soda, nothing else will do. Try as you might to quench your thirst with other beverages, only soda hits the spot. So I start drinking 2 cans a day, and then 3, until I eventually give myself a migraine headache and swear off soda forever...which is usually about 2 weeks.

It Does Have Water In It

Aside from some questionable articles about it's health benefits, as far as I can tell, there are absolutely no positive qualities of soda other than it's taste. There's no protein, and I'm pretty sure the calories are the bad kind. The label alone informs me that it's "not a significant source of fiber, vitamin A, vitamin C, calcium or Iron." Meanwhile, it might be the single largest source of sugar in my diet. According to About.com, a teaspoon of sugar is about 4.2 grams. So while I might feel guilty heaping a 3rd teaspoon of sugar into my morning coffee, a single can of Soda has almost 10 teaspoons in it! I may as well snack on a sugar cube.

Less Calories, Bigger Appetite

Diet soda is no better. Aside from the awful taste, which likes to ruin the taste of everything else you eat that day, most modern health sites say that you're actually far more likely to gain weight from diet soda than lose it. This is because fake sweeteners screw your brain's "how much sugar do I need" gauges, and makes you want to eat even more sweets then if you hadn't had any sugar at all.

I can't be the only who's been affected by this nagging addiction. Soda sales are declining but I don't see them disappearing anytime in the foreseeable future. I see a lot of new sodas popping up in the supposedly healthier stores that have less sugar in them, so maybe that trend will continue. In the meantime, I'll try to concentrate on the next 11 steps of my program.

Blog is short for Web Log but you probably knew that and now you're reading my blog post

I was driving home from poker tonight and I passed this sign that said "Animal Hospital". It was a pretty nice sign and had a picture of Noah's Ark on it and there were all kinds of animals sticking out of it. I mean giraffes, elephants, monkeys, kangaroos...everyone was hanging out of this thing. It was like some kind of Biblical booze cruise. And I thought, damn...all this time I've been taking my pair of Philippine tarsiers to the free clinic.

Mission Statement

Welcome to Texas Dog Party. A name shared with the greatest of all virtual rock bands that can be found at Hunters Way. Although randomly assigned, Harmonix has managed to pick a name with fortune cookie like destiny that encompasses our love for texas hold-em poker, partying, and um...dogs (playing poker).

Who can post?

Inspired by the well known weblog-artist JimInPA, I feel we should all participate in the web 2.0 blogging revolution. As a frequent reader of blogs, I see much talk about the bonuses of blogging. I've been curious about these effects and figured there's only one way to discover them. I've also secretly enjoyed writing and from the humor and length I've seen in some of our poker e-mail chains, I'm guessing I'm not the only one. I see no reason that everyone can't contribute an article from time to time to share a story or thought. Of course, if you don't think you have the skills to post, just ask JimInPA how to expand your vocabulary.

Topics of Random Discussion

My current vision is Seifeldian at the moment. Discussions that have previously been unfocused at the light absorbing poker table might now be expanded upon. Those unfortunate enough to miss nights, might now have a forum to contribute to conversations and thus waste the same amount of time thinking about them as the rest of us. Maybe you want to talk about politics, or a new TV show. Perhaps you could share your experience at the after-party at Woodys or your latest entry in your poker diary. Maybe you just want to talk about fireman strippers. (Editor's (Keith) note: um... I must've missed this one)

Whatever the case may be, why not add a semi-permanant record of your thoughts, experiences, and mis-understood jokes to the universe that is the blogosphere?

So, while this may change over time here's the current Mission Statement:
To share the humor in everyday life, questions both serious and trite, experiences bizarre, and thoughts of madmen, to expand the conversational depth of a growing and diverse group of friends who, for some reason, enjoy listening (Editor's note - this is a blog not a podcast you read not listen).

Now go forth, and blog!

(Editor's note - punctuation corrected)

The Texas Dog Party Has Begun

So welcome to the new ancillary to poker. At Aaron's insistence I've set up a blog for us for no other reason than to have another space that will (hopefully) synergize well with the (weekly?) poker game.

What is this space for? Well, since it was Zod's idea I hope he can set forth The Mission Statement, but i would assume there will be postings of "the spreadsheet," general braggadocio, bitter words about neighbors, a place for John's "art," massive flame wars over the difference between color & light, poll's over what cell phone I should get, ect. The rest Imma leave up to y'all.

As I already have a seperate blog (read: I'm awesome), I'll keep anything I would normally post there seperate from whatever musings on proper Ulkli farming techniques or Ivan mockerey I deign to add to this thing. Jim - no car talk here, keep that to yr damned self. Of course there is no need to always be funny (Alan) so if you are having a "Deep Thoughts" kinda moment blog out (this will henceforth replace rock out in all conversation) and I hope everyone promises to carefully consider what was written before mercilessly tearing into you, you Notebook loving pansy.

I'm adding everyone on the weekly email as an author and iffn you want anyone else added lemme know.

Now let the games... um... continue.

(I can't believe I made it all the way thru withought a dog pun, that's style.)