Drink Lead MoFo

Wow Hollywood, a post about Santa in January. Way to be a month behind schedule. No, Cheech, I'm bringing you crap tons of ho ho holiday cheer 334 days early.

I was enjoying my french vanilla coffee out of my favorite mug and reading up on my dyslexia diagnosis when I discovered Satan was more evil than Santa and the devil combined.

He lured me in with his innocent looking smile that almost says, hey bud...you know you want to drink out of my head. I'm like, yeah...you know I do. I love you Mug Santa.

But behind Mug Santa's playful veneer lies a sinister dark side. Dark like the absence of all light dark.



I know this is hard to read. It was hard for me to read too, but I need to share this with the world. For the visually impaired:

WARNING:
The materials used as colored decorations on the exterior of (this product) contains lead, a chemical known to the State of California to cause birth defects or other reproductive harm.

It is now clear that Santa hates California, but living in another state protects you from aforementioned perils of lead consumption. Pennsylvania FTW!

--Hollywood

I want your free stuff

A friend of mine has been running a rather successful blog for the past year and a half called Spoiled Pretty and your friend Hollywood definitely spoils himself pretty every day. I can't vouch for the content as I don't know the difference between lip gloss and lip stick but what I can tell you faithful readers is that this blog has delivered package after package of free products to her door for her review.

I want in on that action. But not for beauty products (wow that was close) but for cool stuff that I promise I will review with adjective-laden and keyword search-able posts.

Hey Microsoft- I'm rocking your Zune right now. What do I think? I'm not sure, maybe the newest version of your Zune would refresh my memory.

While you're at it I also have your XBox 360. I like it...or do I? Maybe I need some new games to play.

I'm currently enjoying some high def action on a 30" Samsung, but I heard they have newer and bigger models. I wonder if they're any good?

I'm ready to write about your stuff too Sony, Apple Budweiser, and Hot Pockets. FYI- I especially like the Cheeseburger and Chicken Fajita Lean Pockets. The Meatballs and Mozeralla ones used to be my favorite but I ate too many.

-Hollywood

Unplug

This new year, I'm dropping the evil Comcast and committing to watch as little TV as I can without losing my mind.

Here's the plan:

1) Buy a "cheap" computer with no monitor.

2) Hook it up to the home theater with the biggest, fattest cables I can find

3) Get one of those blue tooth remotes that let you interact with media player

4a) Drop down to the lowest basic cable offering for $20. This has the added bonus of potentially allowing me to add the sports package for K$ so he can watch PennState play the foosball.
4b) Get a fancy HDTV antenna and live with the major networks only.

5) Fire up iTunes and buy a season pass to the series that I really want to watch

6) Tell Comcast I don't like paying bills, so I think I'm going to just stop doing it

Windows Media Center has DVR functionality built in, so I could still record any of the network shows.

It should be noted that the primary goal was to watch less televsion. I later came to the conclusion that paying $90/mo for a habit I'm trying to break seems counterproductive. I've canceled gym memberships for less than half that.

I get home from work on a typical day around 6:00pm, leaving around 6 hours of non-working consciousness per day before I fall asleep around 12:30pm and get my less then optimum 6.5 hours sleep. Between Cash Cab, the "quick" Alton Brown episode, some prime time comedy or drama, and the Stewart-Colbert hour, I average about 3 to 4 hours of TV a day. There's a whole bunch of sites that give you good reasons to watch less TV, but even simple math will tell you that 2 to 3 hours a day is barely enough time to take care of things like laundry, dishes, and making yourself a respectable meal. Let alone doing things I might actually want to do.

I'll let it stew for another few days, but after I've rationalized this idea to the point where I stop listening to good advice from friends and family, I'm heading to the Best Buy to see what I can put together.

Remember, 60% of the time, crazy ideas work every time.

Hollywood buys new MP3 player. Gives self high five.

After spending 102 hours researching every MP3 player created since the Mesozoic Age, your friend Hollywood will finally STFU as the quest has been completed. It was a long and arduous journey, filled with excitement, adventure, and tears.


Hollywood's trusty sidekick for the past several years, the Toshiba Gigabeat S, has passed on. A funeral pyre was held for the Gigabeat, known by friends as Giggy, the Gigster, and Getting Giggy With It, at sunrise this morning. A lone bag piper played Giggy's favorite song, Rump Shaker by Wreckx-N-Effect, as he passed on to MP3 player heaven.

There were many candidates to fill the void left by Giggy, most notably an iPod Touch. However, the FBI's recent investigation in to the iPod Touch's alleged attempt to sell the Senate seat vacated by President-Elect Obama made it an likely candidate.

"I'm f***ing untouchable!" proclaimed the Touch in a wiretap phone conversation obtained by the FBI.

The vacated MP3 player position will be filled by a 30 gb Microsoft Zune, a much safer bet agree critics. The Zune has been in the news as of late with it's late-to-the-party Y2k9 bug, however, as with all Microsoft products, you just need to restart the little buddy and he keeps on kicking.